Sorry Apple Watch and watchOS 9, I’d rather sleep alone

When someone has a good night’s sleep, they say, “I slept like a baby.” Nobody says, “I slept like a middle-aged man.”

Sleep is a precious commodity that, in the stock market of life, enters a bear market when you reach middle age. I haven’t slept through the night in a decade. No mattress or pillow satisfactorily cushions my body, and I have enough middle-of-the-night hazing, half-staring at the bathroom, to qualify as a midnight marathon runner.

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